This sucks!

Well, you gotta have these posts once and awhile, but tonite I am a bit dissapointed today, as I feel like a pawn in a game I don't want to play. Well, actually I am, but I don't like it! I am dealing here with people that don't think about the mission first, and think about less meaningful things first! I tell it as I see it, and I will say that the last 2 days here in the IZ have been busy w/ bullets and bombs. I know it always is, but when I can hear them, it gets more real to me! We have heard a lot of gunfire around our FOB, and today there was a car bomb outside the checkpoint by our FOB, and I heard about it on CNN, and saw video from outside the FOB! Not the news coverage I want to see that close to me! It seems safe inside the walls, but you can't be too careful!
I also am a bit disapointed that I have tried to go home for this birth of my baby, but have been officially now, DENIED! I guess there are more important things, but when you sit in a palace and make those decisions, it is easy to prioritize someone elses life! There are a lot of people missing their families, so I don't feel more important, but I had the LTC sign a memo to ask for leave, and got a little too excited! Shame on me for believing!
Obviously, my moral is low, and I shouldn't have even tried for it, but as the birth gets closer I am getting more anxious about not being there. Natural I guess!
Anyways, I have a very busy mission here in the IZ, and when you are sent out to these sites by yourself, or w/ 1 other person, you feel isolated, and you would expect that your chain would look out for your mission and its best interest, but I don't see it! And you really don't even feel like going back to where your suppose to want to go to reorganize! Too many planners, and not enough plans! I hope everybody understands that I will tell how I feel, and will not hide my feelings! Ya think!
I am venting, because like I said, I feel like I'm on an island, with no ships at sea! Don't feel bad, but I just got here, and I see no light in the tunnel, so that is where I'm at!
Later,
Erik